It's Hot

I feel like I need a lawn chair set up on my front porch with a pitcher of lemonade while I watch the neighborhood children play. I see myself wearing a white suit with a white hat and mopping my brow with a handkerchief. I would say things like, "Oh, lawdy, it's hot" and "Ladybird! Where is my lemonade?" You know something has gone wrong with your weather when you start to imagine yourself fondly as a dapper southern gentleman.

It think actually, the problem lies with me. I complain about the weather far more than anyone else I know, and I think it's because the weather in Seattle stays between about 50 and 75 degrees all-year round. There are exceptions, but you can pretty much count on that range. Everywhere else in the world, however, people puts up with more inconsistency. It broke 30 degrees Celsius in my apartment today, and that is where I draw the line. I have been avoiding AC for various reasons, but 30.9 (87) is simply too hot. The only thing keeping me from seeking out a Starbucks and camping out is the thought that I have to wear clothes if I want to go there. The only way I can describe the humidity is: Arkansas. We just went through rainy season here, and all I could think of was that the streets of Kyoto smelled like Arkansas.

This rant about the weather is going to look pretty silly (if it doesn't already) when August turns out to be worse than July and I have nothing to talk about.

On July 17th I will be pulling a float in the Gion Matsuri festival in downtown Kyoto. It's one of the biggest festivals in all of Japan, and for the first time in its history there will be a float pulled by an all-foreigner team. I am looking forward to it... kind of. Everyone who does it says that right afterward they feel like they never want to do it again. Two years ago it took place in a rainstorm. It's also very possible that it could take place in 90 degree heat. Shivering cold or dangerously hot, the 25 of us will be pulling a two-ton float down the street. There is no mechanism to turn the floats so we will have to physically pick it up and turn it 90-degrees. I will post pictures of the event.

In other news, I went to Hiroshima sometime between my last post and this one. I went to the Peace Park and the A-Bomb Dome (the remnants of a building that was directly below the blast) and also ate some delicious okonomiyaki. Pictures:

A monument at the Peace Park. If anyone has ever been in an elementary school class where you made cranes and sent them to Hiroshima, then this is one of the places they end up.
This is a building that survived the August 6th blast. The rest of the ruins were cleared out and built around, but it was decided to keep this one in its present state. However, because the building continues to deteriorate, there are efforts to restore it to its original ruined state.

And this is the most delicious picture ever taken. Hiroshima is famous for its okonomiyaki, and we went to a place called Okonomiyaki Village to eat lunch. mmmm.
And lastly, I spent a few days relaxing on Miyajima, which is an island off the coast of Hiroshima. The island's main claim to fame is its giant Shinto gate that lies on the beach. When the tide comes in the gate looks like it is floating in the water. The shrine associated with the gate is built off the ground so that it, too, appears to be floating in the high tide.

At low tide.
At high tide.

All in all, Hiroshima was a nice little vacation. I have now been to both Nagasaki and Hiroshima so I somehow feel that my latent unconscious war guilt has been assuaged. Hiroshima's peace park is way better than Nagasaski's, by the way. So if you are planning a nuclear pilgrimage and can only go to one, you should go to Hiroshima. The one in Nagasaki is just filled with awful publicly financed sculptures from governments all over the world.

I don't think I will be taking any vacations any time soon. July has got Gion Matsuri and some other international events and August will see the new JETs come to Kyoto. There are something like 45 new JETs, which is an absurd number. There are only 75 or so JETs in the prefecture, and it's going to be an adventure to have half of them leave to be replaced by fresh meat. As PA, though, I am able to look over their files, and it seems like they are a pretty competent bunch. I look forward to meeting them in Tokyo.

And Spring is Over

Let me start with two disturbing trends:

1) The weather has started to get warmer. Hot even. For some reason my office is considerably hotter than anywhere else in the city. I find myself getting sweaty and irritable without even realizing it. I will suddenly realize I am furiously pounding the escape key because i am typing in the wrong language, but I am so flustered that I accidentally hit F1, which obviously brings up the help menu. This unreasonable request causes my ancient work computer to stagger under the strain. Anyway, the point is that the weather right now isn't bothering me so much as the prospect that it will only get much much hotter. It really isn't even that hot outside, but it will be. "When does cool biz start and we start turning on the air conditioner?" I ask, and the answer fills me with dread, "July."
2) Due to the rising of Kyoto's temperatures (obviously due in turn to global climate change) I have been leaving my window open constantly. My neighbor does the same. His window is three feet diagonal from mine, and I can see into his apartment when I go onto the veranda. Somehow, though, I have absolutely no idea where the door to his apartment is. By my calculations, his apartment should be occupied by the elevator I use every day. I only know that he lives in the same dimension as me because I hear him cough all the time. He is sick or something, I guess. The disturbing part if this trend is the following: whenever I hear him give off a little cough I am painfully reminded that he can likewise hear me. I sometimes (all the time) talk to myself, my computer, my food, and just about everything else that can't verbally defend itself. Sometimes after I say something a little too loudly I hear a little cough from my neighbor. Maybe he isn't so sick.

Now that I have gone into the not-so-happy trends in my life, it's probably for the best if I included some good things:

1) It's nice enough outside that I can hang out on the veranda. Last weekend I took my lunch outside and watched an entire baseball game taking place in the adjacent elementary school (coaches versus kids). At one point a tiny Japanese kid sprinted from center to right field and made a diving catch. I literally applauded. I hope nobody saw me.
2) The banks of the Kamo River are once again warm enough to frequent in the evenings. My favorite thing to do last summer was to get some beers and some friends, and go hang out on the river after dinner. (It's not without its dangers, however. Hawks and crows will grab whatever is in your hands. These guys are brazen and nasty. I read that a crow recently stole a prairie dog from the Ueno zoo in Tokyo. http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/07/world/asia/07crows.html )
3) I don't know if I should tell you this or not. Here goes. I was reading an article in a Japanese magazine and happened to see a picture of an attractive semi-nude American. Who's that? I wonder to myself, she's not bad looking. I get around to reading the picture's caption, and it turns out this girl is the infamous Mylie Cyrus I have been reading about. I know everyone is scandalized by the fact that her dad, Vanity Fair, and everyone involved turned a fifteen year-old Hanna Montana star into a object of sexuality and thereby robbed the American people of what little innocence they had left. That's not why i am upset, though. I am upset because now I have to live with the fact that for 5 seconds, between me looking at the photo and reading the caption, I was attracted to a fifteen year-old. Thank you Mylie Cyrus, I am now officially a huge jerk.

Now, onto the events of today.

I am working tomorrow (a Saturday; I am not pleased) so my boss gave me some time in lieu awhile back. Because i am working all day on a Saturday he gave me two half days. Today was one of those days. I was supposed to come into work at 2pm. Of course I forgot, though, and came in right on the dot at 930am. They told me to come back at 2pm, and I was left, wearing a suit coat and tie, with nothing to do for the next four hours. I let my legs do the deciding and walked around in places in Kyoto I had never seen.

That's when I realized that there is a reason I have never seen these parts. I walked through a "market" of local vendors selling socks and fish flakes, the "projects" where the gardens are well-kept but the denizens dare to not properly separate their garbage, and small temples so filled with luxury cars I could not enter.

I then came across Hongwanji (I don't know why there is a 'w' in the name. There is no such sound in the Japanese language as 'gwa'). It is one of those giant tourist attractions that I should have gone to in the first week, but never made it. I entered on a whim and happened to catch a Buddhist service. It's been awhile since I heard some honest-to-god chanting monks, and it was a nice alternative to work.

I then went to a local bookstore to buy a magazine. I looked at the Economist and Scientific American, but it turns out the English versions are 1200 yen (12 dollars or so). Really? For one issue? I could have bought Jane Eyre for 880 yen (not that I would want to do something like that). I settled on 440 yen for the Japanese edition of the latest Newsweek.

Now, if you had asked me fifteen minutes ago, I would have told you that my morning was totally interesting and completely worth writing about. Looking back on it, turns out I would have been very very wrong. Will I go back and delete my account of my very ordinary day? No. This is a blog, and writing a blog means never having to say your sorry (or be responsible for the quality of your posts).

I have a quiz for you. Quick, name me a food that goes well both with beer and milk. Stumped? here's your answer:
RITZ! Tonight I tested the ritz and beer combination. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Hanami 2k8

Hanami is the activity / hobby / cultural institution of watching cherry blossoms as they bloom. There are websites dedicated to keeping track of how far along the flowers are. They go from buds to full blooming in about a week depending on the weather, species, and location, so you have to keep close track if you want to go on the right day. Then it is suddenly over. Last weekend, the flowers were either full or nearly so, and this weekend they are in decline. I did this year's hanami and the old imperial palace grounds and in the mountains to the east. Megan and I ate donuts and drank coffee while checking out the weeping cherry blossom trees at the palace grounds, and I went during the week in the evening to watch the blossoms in full bloom. Because it was the evening the temple had equipped the place with strategically placed lights of different colors. It was all very well done and simply surreal. Unfortunately my camera takes crap for pictures at night so I can't show you (that's right, I am blaming it on the camera).


This picture is the last viewable one I could get before it got too dark. I have about a dozen more, but they look sort like I took pictures of the memories of a drunk person. Which is really too bad because the scene was truly amazing. Take my word for it. In other news, I have become a wholehearted supporter of genetically modified foods. Why? Efficiency. Why eat one strawberry at a time when I can eat between 6 -8 at time. Observe:

Touristing Kyoto in Earnest

Caroline came to Japan / Kyoto this past week. I took the opportunity (excuse) to take three days of vacation. Add the facts that Thursday is a national holiday and I have Friday off because I am working this Sunday, and suddenly I have an 8 day weekend. Also, there is an epic battle going on in Kyoto between the forces of spring and winter over which has control of the weather. Round one goes to spring: Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday were beautiful. Winter battled back to make Wednesday and Thursday miserable. Spring is on a counter-offensive today (Friday), but the war is far from over. Anyway, the point is that I got to do some first-rate touristing in the sun. I went from going to work in a winter coat and scarf to sunburning my neck in two days. Kyoto-ites keep telling me that there are seasons in this city; I don't believe them.

For those thinking of coming to Kyoto, here is a rundown of some major tourist sites and their corresponding RAD (Rating And Description).


Kinkakuji (Golden Pavilion) - RAD factor: 6 (out of 10). Kinkakuji is all the rage among tourists. I can't count the number of tourists who come into the Intl. Center looking for the bus that goes there. In a nutshell, Kinkakuji is a medium sized temple covered in shiny gold that is surrounded by a pond. If you only have one day in Kyoto, I suppose, Kinkakuji is a safe bet. I mean, it's pretty and all, but it's always the same KIND of pretty. A temple of gold is always going to be a temple of gold. You will never go there and think to yourself, man, the Golden Pavilion seems a lot more golden than the last time I saw it. Also, you are never going to discover a little personal corner of beauty that you can appreciate all to yourself. Everyone knows that the gold is pretty and everyone knows where to take a picture of it. On the other hand, you can go there any day of the week and in any weather conditions, and you can be assured that you will get 100% of your money's worth out of the place.

Ginkakuji (Silver Pavilion) - RAD factor: 8.5. Ginkakuji is the older sibling to Kinkakuji. I went there earlier in my contract and was left feeling unimpressed. It was hot, muggy, and crowded. I would have given it a solid 5 out of 10 had I not visited it again this week. Catch this place on the right day and you are in Narnia. The place is carpeted in moss that glows an unearthly green in the sunlight. If there aren't too many people around, you can stand in one place and take it all in. There is no one single aspect that makes this temple great, but there is an supreme attention to detail. For example, when you are approaching the main gate, on your right there is a wall of hedges and a line of trees. Between the thick foliage of the hedge and the trees there is a gap - about 5 feet high and 3 feet high - that lets you glimpse a nearly hidden bamboo forest. There is also a sand garden that abstractly depicts waves as well as a perfectly conical Mt. Fuji. In a crowd you are forced to file past as you dodge the line of sight of amateur photographers, but otherwise you can admire the natural beauty that man can create.

Kitano Tenmangu - RAD factor: 5. Kitano Tenmangu might only have gotten a 4, but since it is only about a 15 minute walk from my house I bumped it up a point. My main complaint is that it is a one-trick pony. It has plum trees that blossom into a colorful and odoriferous orchard in March, but the rest of the year leaves it little better than your standard run-of-the-mill shrine. To its credit, it is spacious enough that you can always find a beautiful corner that you haven't seen before. It also tends to not be frequented by your typical nama gaijin - so that is a plus if you are adverse to khaki shorts and hiking backpacks.

Nijo Castle - RAD factor: 7.5. Nijo gets a 1 point proximity boost, as well. It is always crawling with tourists and the occasional tour group of Tokyo high school students. Technically I suppose the castle was built to defend the Shogun from would-be usurpers, but it looks mostly as if Tokugawa Ieyasu just said, screw it, who's gonna attack me? Build me a garden with a fence and a moat. And I want koi fish in that moat. That said, the guy must also have hated getting sneaked up on. He made the main hall so that the floors creaked when you walk on them. Apparently it's supposed to sound like nightingales singing. I suppose the creaks would be pleasant enough when your retinue is walking around thinking of ways to better serve you, but nowadays the building is frequented by hundreds of overweight tourists whose combined creaking just makes it sound like the building was poorly built. Anyway, the parapets offer a very nice view of the city and there is a map coded so that you can tell what plants are blooming during which parts of the year.

Iwatayama Monkey Park (Monkey Mountain) - RAD factor: 9. Monkey Mountain is a little out of the way, but you are missing out if you don't go. After a short hike up the mountain you reach a small shack at the top next to a clearing with a gorgeous view of Kyoto. This clearing is also where the monkeys chill out all day. Just before the shack employees feed them, the monkeys get all anxious and start making a strange hooting noise. It is pretty disconcerting. That and the occasional monkey scuffle led me to feel less than comfortable. I kept having visions of the monkeys all simultaneously going planet of the apes on me. It doesn't help that the entire way up the mountain there are signs warning you not to show the monkeys food, throw rocks at the monkeys, come between a baby monkey and its mother, look a monkey directly in the eyes, or touch the monkeys. The rules were never written all in once place, rather they were haphazardly written along the path. It's as if they made a rule for every monkey-violence related incident the park has had. The shack workers were very nice, though, and seemed very comfortable with the monkeys. They said that the monkeys recognized the workers, and indeed the monkeys were buddy-buddy with them - except for the time when a monkey jumped up and slapped food out of the hand of a worker who was trying to feed it. I accidentally left my umbrella at the top of monkey mountain, and because I am very attached to this umbrella, I made Caroline go back with me to the base station. All I had to do was say the words, "I think I left my umbrella at the top..." and the station lady was on the phone and the monkey feeder ran down the mountain to hand-deliver my umbrella. Well done Japan, well done.

Monkey mountain deserves a video. This is the scene as the monkeys are starting to gather in anticipation of their afternoon feeding. I felt a little surrounded.



We also went to Kiyomizu Temple, which is a solide 9.5 out of 10, but because I didn't bring my camera that day its description will have to wait for another day. Which could be awhile because my vacation is just about over. I can't wait to see how much work has piled up on my desk in my absence.

Now it's Spring

After reading my entry from last week about how spring is not on Kyoto's to-do list, Kyoto decided to get itself into gear and stop snowing. I have even taken to eating lunch in the great outdoors on the roof of my building at work. I didn't know it until a few days ago, but apparently the roof of the Kyoto Prefectural office building is a park, complete with lawn, benches, and flowers. That was definitely not in my orientation. Wait, I didn't have an orientation.

Anyway, two weeks ago or so I was talking to my fellow CIR friend, Megan. I told her how I thought our lives would make very good overly-dramatic comics. She is quite the artist and decided to go about drawing it. With help from another friend, Rachel, they came up with a piece that pretty adequately conveys my job. (The character is apparently not me, but if you take a look at the eyebrows you will quickly realize that it cannot be anyone else.)

I Don't Care, It's Still Winter

I have a few rules in life. One of them is this: "If it's snowing, it's not Spring yet." Seems simple enough to me, but Kyoto didn't get the memo. We are into March now, and it still continues to periodically snow. I am not used to this. Snow once every two years is good enough for anyone. It is very pretty, though. I tried to convey the this whimsical wintry beauty in the photo above, but I think it just looks like a sloppy and cold snowstorm.

Because of the conditions outlined above, I minimize my time spent outdoors during the work week. Walk to work, walk back, that's it. I even interrupt my return trip with an interlude in my grocery store. Nothing puts a smile on my face like listening to the sounds the store offers. When you first enter there is a tape player blasting out a man's voice simulating what you might hear if you were in an actual market: "Oranges! Oranges! Oranges! They're delicious and cheap! Bring some home tonight!" Are you trying to trick me into thinking I am at a farmer's market and you aren't some disembodied cassette recorded in 1982? Once you proceed through the entrance you start to hear the music pumped through the speakers. I wish I could remember all of the tunes the PA system pumps out. Sometimes its difficult to tell which 80s song you are listening to because rather than playing the actual song, the store chooses to broadcast a cheap midi imitation that sounds like it you should be in an elevator. Here are the songs I can be sure I have heard:

Hey Jude - Beatles
Norwegian Wood - Beatles
All I want for Christmas is You - Mariah Carey
Take My Breath Away - Berlin (from Top Gun)

And yesterday I definitely heard the soothing sounds of the ocean playing as I tried to decide if I should buy chocolate covered potato chips (I did).

I wasn't going to include this section into my blog because I didn't think "sounds I hear in my grocery store" would prove very interesting, but today in the meat section I heard something unbelievable. I honestly stopped looking at the pork and stared at the tape player with a huge grin on my face. It was what sounded like a little boy doing a rap in Japanese about ham. "Yeah, yeah, ham, ham, ham sausage. Ham and eggs, if you don't have ham just eat the eggs. Grandma! Put ham into the lunchbox, dad will like it. Of course I will like it to! I like it!" Now, this sort of thing has to be weird no matter what country you are in. I refuse to believe that this is normal. But all the other shoppers just went about their business without a second look.

Come to think of it, the same thing happened when I was eating at a ramen restaurant last week with some coworkers. We were just eating our ramen and chatting while unremarkable pop music played in the shop. Suddenly, though, the music shifted into hard core metal replete with the deep throated screams you usually hear in horror movies. Nobody batted an eyelash. I was left feeling incorrigibly out of place.


I may have mentioned in a previous post that I am doing a lecture series on sports in Seattle. Somehow I couldn't properly convey my sense of sadness at the prospect of the Sonics leaving for Oklahoma (I was just in Oklahoma! I like Oklahoma! Why do they have to steal half of what made the 90s memorable for me.) In an effort to convey my emotions, I showed them a excerpt from a recent Bill Simmons article:

"On the flip side, Presti has to be slammed a little for how the Ray Allen trade turned out: Basically, the Sonics dealt Ray Allen and "Big Baby" Davis for Jeff Green and Donyell Marshall's corpse and saved $10 million for the 2008-09 season ... money that they won't be spending on players because their soulless owner is busy destroying a 41-year history of professional basketball in Seattle. Does that sound like a good deal to you? Didn't think so. I'd have more to say here, but the poor Sonics fans are like abused dogs in an animal shelter right now. Let's just move on."

I realized I wasn't getting through when I had to explain the word "soulless."

Luckily, to help cheer me up, I spent all of Saturday wandering around Kyoto with my friend looking at the newly blossoming plum petals (you ain't nobody in this town if you don't head out to see the plum blossoms when they bloom.) I don't know what the fascination among Japanese people is with going to beautiful locations laid out perfectly with rows of flowers, and taking nothing but close-up detailed pictures of single blossoms. I mean, I appreciate the fleeting beauty of a single plum blossom as much as the next guy, but should I be neglecting the 1000 year-old temple around me? Well, if you can't beat 'em...


Oh, I forgot to write about the Great G8 Staircase Race. I explained in a previous post that I was participating in this event to promote the G8 Foreign Ministers' Meeting in Kyoto. First of all, the place was CRAWLING with people. I have never seen the staircase so busy. People wearing costumes, cheerleaders, and a ton of old Japanese men in running shorts. I hesitate to even bring up the warm up exercises they had everyone do only because I don't think I can do it justice. You know that movement you see sometimes where a person will put their arms out to the side with palms out and shake their chest from left to right? Yeah. That was part of the warm up. The stairs were miserable. I, in my feeble attempt at climbing them was dominated by the three other people I was running with. It didn't help I was running anchor of this particular relay. Thirty-nine seconds and 172 stairs later, I was at the top with a microphone in my face.
Reporter: Dou deshitaka? - How was it?
Me (panting and unable to operate my hamstrings): Kurushikatta.

Now, kurushikatta can mean a couple of different things. Here are some translations offered by www.alc.co.jp:

1. agonizing
2. bleeding
3. croosh
4. crucial
5. labored
6. laboring
7. painful
8. rough
9. stern
10. strait
11. thorny
12. trying

I don't think that was the scoop she was looking for, but it was all my poor lungs could offer. Thanks to the fact that nobody on our team was particularly slow, America took third place! Not quite the Miracle on Ice, but I was pleased. Turns out, the best runners did the worst in this competition. The German team was made up of a Japanese running club (not a German to be found in this city, apparently), and they did the worst. The winning team was the Russians, who, true to every Cold War stereotype I can muster, were stocky and burly (not to mention a little bit standoffish.) My hypothesis is that strong leg muscles are more important than long graceful strides in a staircase race. The burly Russians had some meaty legs and were thus able to outlast the competition.

Top Four Fastest Countries
1. Russia
2. Italy
3. America
4. Great Britain (Great Britain's team consisted of a Briton, an Irishman, a Lithuanian, and a Japanese.)

What you are looking at here, gentle reader, is a picture of the author's worst nightmares.

Winter in the city

Firstly, I want to apologize to Dave Chappelle. Dave, if you are reading this, I am sorry I insinuated that you went crazy and fled to Africa for a year. You are not crazy, and you were only in Africa for like two weeks. Please forgive me.

Next I want to congratulate Japan on being the only country in the world still committed to researching whales. I mean, there are still a lot of things that we can learn about them. Like how best to kill and commercially sell protected species. That's important science. And if you have to kill 1000 or so of them, and then feed their fried remains to elementary school children at public schools to accomplish this aim, well, so be it.

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/world/AP-Antarctica-Whaling.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

It's February, but I should probably mention my Christmas and New Year's. My Christmas consisted of me going to work (sick) until 530, coming home, having dinner with a friend at Kyoto station, and going to bed. Then I woke up and realized it was Christmas, and opened my presents. It was a nice little Christmas moment.
Christmas in Kyoto was hilarious. Because there is no Thanksgiving in Japan, the Christmas decorations went up right after Halloween. And they were everywhere. Kyoto station had a tree to rival Rockefeller plaza and the church/girls school next to my work was decked out in lights. However, when Christmas rolled around, those decorations went down faster than you would believe. The Kyoto station decorations came down at 6pm on Christmas evening. This is because New Years is huge here. (Except its not really New years how we celebrate it. There are spiritual and cultural ties to Oshogatsu that our New Years just doesn't have).
I was planning on going somewhere for New Years, but then got real lazy and stayed in Kyoto. That was probably for the best, I think. Going to the trouble of traveling was the last thing I wanted to do. I thought it would be a nice laid back holiday. Maybe go out on New Years eve, then go to a temple the next day. You know, take it easy. That did not happen. I ended up not doing anything cultural on New Years. Unless, that is, you count drinking at a British pub before "dancing" at a basement techno club. Not that I like techno so much. Or dancing, for that matter. Or heineken (the only beer being served). From there is was karaoke until first train in the morning. The next day was rest. Turns out, though, that during the New Years holiday (New Years day and a few days after), you can't get money out of the ATM. That will be a mistake I won't be making next year.

There will be a next year because I recontracted. I am now staying in my current location doing my current job with the current salary until at least July 2009. I really enjoy my work (mostly), and there are a lot of things I think I can learn after I spend a year getting the hang of things. Recently I have started getting nods in the hall from the vice-governor of Kyoto. It's nice being the only foreigner in the building sometimes.

The American primaries were today. I watched them on the computer, refreshing the site every few minutes to get up to the minute details. I did the same thing the day before for the Superbowl. It was oddly similar watching the two contests unfold on the computer screen a few minutes at a time. Unlike the Superbowl, though, I still couldn't tell you who won Super Tuesday. Obama won more states, but Hillary won more delegates. At least after the Superbowl was over you knew whether to be sad or happy. Also, everyone here seems to know all about the presidential race. My coworkers told me who won the Nevada primary before I could find out. It makes me feel kind of privileged to think that I get to vote in something that affects so many peoples' lives. I used to kind of hate the American primaries system because it is such a media carnival and popularity contest, but after seeing how unique it is compared to the rest of the world I have changed my opinion.

In other patriotism related news, I am representing the United States in the Great Staircase Race. Every year Kyoto holds a race up the 177 stair Grand Staircase at Kyoto station. This year, because the G8 Foreign Ministers' Summit is being held in Kyoto, there will be a PR event wherein 4-person teams representing each of the eight countries will run a relay race up the stairs. I am a member of Team USA. I have two hopes: 1) I finish the race without my heart exploding, and 2) Team USA wins the race and we spontaneously break into chants of "USA! USA! USA!" until we are deported. Also, there is a chance I will be team leader, which means I will be on television for 30 seconds. Have you ever seen sideline reporters for the NFL try to interview an athlete after a touchdown pass? It's going to be like that, except that I am by no means an athlete. I don't think I will be getting time in lieu for this race, so you can consider this service to my country.

I did get time in lieu when I worked last Sunday at the International Center's Japanese Culture Day. I interpreted all day for a group of older ladies who were explaining the incense ceremony. After a few runs through I memorized the speech they were giving and just stopped listening. It was really interesting, though. They had guests play a game where you had to identify which scent a particular incense was out of three choices. Apparently, a master incense maker will compose an incense the same way a poet writes a poem. For example, he might see a pretty sunset, and then go about making an incense that captures the essence of that scene. The ladies who were running the show were very serious at first, but after they realized nobody knew enough to be able to take it seriously, they loosened up. My favorite part of interpreting was when the ladies were making small talk with some foreigners. The oldest lady doesn't have much contact with foreigners, I think, because she saw an American with a full beard and remarked in Japanese, "Hm, he looks like Jesus, doesn't he?" I just about died laughing (all by myself), and then declined to interpret. The next best part came when a girl with a low cut shirt participated. The old ladies used hand gestures and started complimenting the girl's... features. The girl looked at me and said, "I don't think I need a translation." Priceless.

I also went to Ine for a few days. Ine is about far north in Kyoto Prefecture as it gets. It is also real small. And full of old fishermen. My friend Rachel lives there (although she is not an old fisherman). It was nice to get out of the city and see the Japanese countryside.
Rachel took us on the scenic route. It was indeed very scenic.
This is Amanohashidate. Apparently the place where the gods dipped the spear into the ocean to create the Japanese island chain. The Japanese, who have a love of ranking things, have ranked this the third most beautiful natural spot in Japan. I think I must have gone on the wrong day.


I have never been stared at in Japan like I was stared at in Ine. Maybe it was because I was in a car full of foreigners, maybe it was because the old people were just squinting to see us, but man, there were some glares.

By the way, kudos to all of you for not coming to visit in January or February. It is cold. Not so much in terms of having actual low temperatures, although it does snow quite a bit. It is just that none of the buildings here are insulated very well, leading to a situation where going indoors only protects you from the wind, not the cold. I have a heater in my apartment, but it only makes the top half of the room warm. I have to stand up to feel it. Also, as soon as it goes off, the room is immediately cold again. Turns out six inches of concrete and a sliding glass door aren't the best insulation. I can't imagine that in a few months it will be so hot I won't be able to sleep with the windows closed.

Back from Retirement

(Kyoto Tower. It's kind of like the Space Needle. That is, if the Space Needle was universally hated by every Seattleite.)

First, I should apologize for my blogging hiatus for the two months. Do you remember when Dave Chappelle went crazy with his fame and fled to Africa without telling anyone for a year? Well, it was like that for me. Except I'm not famous, I didn't actually go anywhere, and it was only for October and November. Actually, a Japanese celebrity did this recently, too. Asashoryu, a sumo champion, apparently went crazy with the pressure and returned to his native Mongolia. He was supposed to be convalescing, but he injured himself playing soccer (the Japanese media caught it on tape). He is coming back to compete again, but his honor is forever tarnished.

Since I don't really have any one thing worth talking about, I will just continue to ramble aimlessly on a variety of topics until you run out of patience.

Point Cards:

Yeah, that's right, point cards are at the top of the list. Of all the inscrutable aspects of Japanese culture (Hello Kitty, Maid Cafes, Hostess Bars, seasonal KitKats, and pizza with mayonnaise on it come to mind), point cards top the list for me. For some reason, Japanese people don't think they are getting a good deal unless they are receiving points for it, or at least a stamp on their card. Frustratingly, though, they are never worth the trouble / plastic they are made from. My first experience with this custom took place at the Kyoto Station's Subway (sandwich restaurant, not the underground transportation system). I was with several other JETs, and one of them was very excited. She only was able to come to Subway rarely, and this time she would finally fill out her punch card of ten sandwiches. God knows how long it took her to buy ten Subway sandwiches given the fact that there is only the one Subway in the whole prefecture. And considering that each sandwich is probably about 5-6 dollars, she was looking at a 50-60 dollar investment. After eating her tenth sandwich, she excitedly went back in line to redeem her bonus sandwich. Turns out, however, that ten sandwiches don't buy you a free sandwich, but rather 10% off your next purchase. In summary, she spent on the order of 60 dollars in receive a one time 60 cent discount. Living as a foreigner in Japan is all about the small victories, and to see this JET's victory turn into her Waterloo was heartbreaking.

I can relate. I have a dry-cleaning point card (dry cleaning is everywhere in Japan, so I chose the one with best sounding name: "Carnival." It's like the circus is always in town, and they also clean your shirts). This point card has a complicated system, so do the math with me. Every time I spend 100 yen (about a dollar) I receive 1 point. When I get 150 points, I can redeem them for a 500 yen discount off my next purchase. 150 X 100 yen = 15,000 yen (150 dollars) = 500 yen discount. So basically, after I spend 150 dollars at this particular dry cleaning establishment, I get five dollars back. Hell yeah! That's like 3% off all my dry cleaning. But wait, it gets better. I get 10%(!) off all my dry cleaning on my birthday. Screw the bars and parties, I know where I am going when June 22 rolls around.

I have one more point card (I could easily have fifteen if I had a mind to apply for them). It is for the supermarket, Kitano, that I frequent. I get 1 point for every 100 yen I spend (exclusive of tax). Every point I accumulate counts as 1 yen towards a future purchase. I have currently about 650 or so points in the bank (enough to buy a cheap six-pack). 650 X 100 yen= 65,000 total yen spent. For a 1% discount, is it even worth me getting the card out of my wallet? Japan says "yes," and so do I.

Edinburgh:

Promptly following my adventure in the great state of Oklahoma (boomer sooner), I returned to find that preparations were frantic for the arrival of a delegation from Edinburgh, including the Lord Provost (Mayor) and his wife. We were celebrating the anniversary of the friendship relationship between Edinburgh and Kyoto with a museum gallery exhibition related to Scotland and Edinburgh, as well as taking the Lord Provost around the prefecture to see the sights. I am not a interpreter, let me point that out right away. However, there was a ton of stuff going on at the time with the Edinburgh delegation, the museum exhibition, and random other stuff that was occurring at the same time, so I ended up interpreting. Worst moment: I was part of an incident that involved the Lord Provost cutting the ribbon during the ceremony to open the museum exhibit a full second or so before the other two ribbon-cutters (the governor and the head of the prefectural legislature). Technically my interpretation wasn't incorrect, but let's just say it led to a misunderstanding. Actually, I don't really want to talk about it.

Best moment: I ended up interpreting for a tour guide at the Kyoto Guest House. The Kyoto Guest House is on the same grounds as the old Imperial Palace in the center of Kyoto, but was only built something like ten years ago. It's a huge complex built with modern techniques in order to make it look like it was done in an old style (Howard Roark would hate it). Germany's Prime Minister Merkel was recently there, and so was George W. a few years ago. You can see it on Google Earth at (35° 1'29.68"N 135°45'55.01"E). If you do look at it on Google Earth you will notice that it is still under construction in the satellite image. Also, you will notice that in contrast to the Imperial Palace slightly to the left, there are no photographs of the Guest House. That is because the public is not allowed in, and photographs are forbidden. We had to go through security before being allowed inside. I wish I could have taken pictures because it was absolutely beautiful. The attention to detail was remarkable in such a huge complex. There were people from the Edinburgh College of Art there as well, and their expert opinion was pretty much "wow."

While I have Google Earth open, my workplace is (35° 1'15.56"N 135°45'17.73"E).

Tokyo:

A few weeks ago I went to Tokyo for the CIR mid-year training seminar. That was for two days, but I spent the whole week there, staying with my old host family. It was weird to see all the same sights that I used to see every day, but haven't seen in several years. I forgot how much I like Tokyo. Kyoto is a great city with a load of culture and a good amount of sightseeing as well as city life amenities (bars), but Tokyo is like something out of this world. The scope of the city is just beyond imagining. Kyoto is organized on an orderly grid-like pattern based on Chinese notions of geomancy, and also has a restriction on buildings over a certain height so as to preserve its old-world charms. Tokyo on the other hand is enormous in all three dimensions, and seems to have expanded haphazardly without any kind of plan at all. The narrow streets are all at odd angles to each other, tall buildings limit your view to that which is immediately surrounding you, and even the system by which addresses are assigned is erratic. Rather than assign street and house numbers by geography (starting with low numbers in the south, for example, and going up as you go north), Tokyo assigns them by chronology, i.e. the newest buildings have the highest numbers. Therefore finding anything, even if you have the address, involves walking into the general area, and wandering from map to map (Tokyo has maps placed on its streets to help those who are lost) until you are close. Then you find a police box, which is a mini police station (more like a kiosk), and ask the cops to give you directions. That seems to be the main function of the police in Tokyo. I used to like Tokyo the best, then I found an appreciation for Kyoto, but now I couldn't tell you which is better.

(Taken from the Tokyo government office building. The view is similar no matter which direction you look. That, my friends, is a big city. )

Books:

I have read a lot of English books since arriving in Kyoto. My predecessor left some for me, and I have been utilizing Project Gutenberg (http://www.gutenberg.org/wiki/Main_Page) to get free books whose copyrights have run out. I also, uh, don't have a TV (which I get a ton of flak for, coincidentally, people in this country just don't trust you unless you have a TV). Also, due to their prohibitive price and all-around scarcity, foreigners in Japan don't really choose the books they read so much as those books fall into their laps.

Books read since coming to Kyoto:

"Lucky Jim" by Kingsley Amis - Very funny book, in a very (very) dry British way. Lots of cigarettes, pints of beer, and jokes about stuffy intellectuals.

"Shooting History" by Jon Snow - Apparently Jon Snow is like a big name in British journalism, or something. I have never heard of him (although I also have never heard of the jewelry company Cartier, which I guess is a capital crime). This book is an autobiography of this journalist, tracing his career through the major events to shake the world since the 60's. Interesting to read about recent history through the lens of another country.

"Treasure Island" by Robert Louis Stevenson - In Oklahoma we stayed at a Country Inn and Suites. They have a promotion wherein guests can take books from the lobby collection with the promise that they will return them to another Country Inn the next time they stay at one. The theory is that if each Country Inn has a different set of books, then soon there will be a wide variety of literature at each location. I wonder how many of these "Country Inn presents" books are in Japan. Probably just two.

"Wuthering Heights" by Emily Bronte - Ditto. But don't worry, I will return them the next time I stay at a Country Inn and Suites.

"The World is Flat" by Thomas Friedman - A pretty stunning defense of globalization. Thomas Friedman always writes my favorite articles in the NY times and I recommend this book to anyone with an interest in the subject. When I was taking the Edinburgh delegation to the airport on their way back (I had to wake up at like 4:30 on a Saturday to do it), one of the members was complaining about the outsourcing of Scottish services to Indian call centers. I recommended this book. So if you see a spate of globalizing measures from Scotland in the near future, you'll know who to thank (blame).

"Harry Potter" numbers six and seven by J.K. Rowling - I don't know what to say, I am weak. I read these books like an alcoholic falls off the wagon. I try to stay away from them for as long as I can on principle, but in the end I have to admit I am powerless against them. When my kids find out that I liked the series, though, I can't decide if they will be horrified that I fell victim to the fad (like finding old pictures of your parents in bell bottoms, or that your older brother liked Vanilla Ice), or if they will be impressed that I was able to read them as soon as they came out (like finding out that your parents saw the Beatles in concert).

"Flatland" by Edwin Abbot - Some of the oldest science fiction I have ever read (1884). But unlike the Jules Verne adventures I think this is book holds up better. It's about a entity that lives in a universe with only two dimensions. The narrator explains all of the social and political implications that arise from having only two-dimensions. An entity from a universe of three-dimensions then tries to explain how limited his world is, and then shows him the universes of one-dimensionality and zero-dimensionality. It doesn't have the pizazz of dinosaurs and giant squid that Verne had, but it still remains an undated and interesting read (not to mention a good take on culture shock).

"Crime and Punishment" by Fyodor Dostoevsky - I was talking to my fellow JET friend, and he mentioned that he, too, read this after coming to Japan. Not the best of decisions, we both decided. The book is about a young Russian student who leaves school, lives in a tiny cupboard of an apartment, feels alienated and unable to communicate with the society around him, becomes irritable with even his own family, lives increasingly in his own head, and ends up killing an old pawnbroker. Um... moving right along....

Work:

Work has certainly slowed down since Edinburgh ended. I was supposed to spend all of my Fridays at the Prefectural International Center, but because everything was so busy, I have only been there a handful of times. I have been told I will be writing a blog from their website as well. So if you want all the hot blogging action, you are going to have to check that one out too. (Actually, if it is possible, my International Center blog is even more boring than this one, though thankfully it is much more brief). If the fancy strikes you, go to http://kpic.or.jp/CIR/index.html and click the link at the top of the page right next to the word "CIR."

I will also be teaching a class about the Seattle sports scene starting in February. Here's a preview:

Mariners: A terrible team since their inception, the Mariners pulled it together behind a mix of ridiculously talented superstars (Griffey, Rodriguez, Johnson) in 1995, then went on to lose all of those players to other teams. We won 116 games in one season, then couldn't even go to the World Series. Now we are terrible again. But we have Ichiro, so that's something.

Seahawks: You don't care about American football, I know, but the Seahawks were another terrible team that recently pulled it together. They almost won something called the Superbowl, but had it stolen by poor officiating. Now they are doomed to eternal mediocrity.

Sonics: Used to be good, but after suffering a series of tough losses in the 90's, they went on to range between terrible and mediocre. Finally, they are lucky enough to land the player with the highest ceiling the sport has ever seen. Oh, but the team is probably moving to Oklahoma, so they won't be on the final exam.

On second thought, maybe I should do a class about coffee or something.

Unrelated pictures:

(I was walking to a well-known temple, and of course because I am no good at directions, I got lost. On the plus side, instead of going to the tourist infested tourist spot, I took this side path into a forest that turned out to be the best decision of the day. There were only like three people, and I got to watch the sunset from the top of this hill.)

(Kyoto is in a basin surrounded by mountains. Apparently it is a very auspicious position. It certainly is nice to be able to see nature so close to the huge city.)

(A different kind of Japanese beauty. I say we bring this guy over, give that man a contract. It says, "The happiness of a lot of cheese." Oh, take away my pain, Cheesy Elvis!)

Back in One Piece

First, let me start by saying that Oklahoma is a pretty sweet place. There, I said it. Whatever preconceptions I might have had before going there have been replaced by good memories. Sure it's a bit flat (Don't dare tell anyone there that you think Oklahoma is flat; they will flip. But seriously, did you see the picture above? I rest my case.), and sure there are twice as many cows as people (6 million to 3 million), and trying to find a vegetable at dinner is a lost cause, but Oklahoma seems to be a pretty up-and-coming state. It's almost as though Oklahoma still hasn't grown into itself yet. Oklahoma City recently spent a ton of money making a river out of the ditch that runs through downtown, there is a great looking baseball stadium right downtown that is used by the minor-league team, and in all directions there is space to grow. One day, when we were receiving a tour of an Oklahoma City skyscraper, the guide told us that for as far as we could see in all directions was Oklahoma City limits. Even though there aren't any buildings or people out there, it is still technically Oklahoma City and they are planning on filling out that space. (I think we were supposed to be impressed by the notion of city in all directions, but I had just been to Tokyo where I looked out the 65th floor of the Tokyo Tower, and there, too, it was city in all directions, but it was actually full of buildings and what-not).

I am getting ahead of myself, I think. If you recall, the reason we went to Oklahoma is the sister region agreement between the prefecture of Kyoto and the state of Oklahoma. Because of this, every year Oklahoma was sending university students to see Kyoto, who by all accounts had a first-class experience. (By the way, you can just tell Oklahoma is STOKED to have Kyoto as a sister region; I just spent ten minutes trying to come up with a good analogy before giving up. Suffice it to say that Kyoto became the capital of Japan in around 800 AD, more than 1100 years before Oklahoma became a state.) This year was Oklahoma's turn to show its hospitality, and they came through with flying colors. There were eight Kyoto university students, the assistant director of the International Affairs Division, and little old me. In ten days we changed place of residence every day except one, for a total of six different hotels. For about 10-12 hours every day it was my job to "interpret," but because everyone seemed to be able to get along pretty well in English, I just jumped in the trouble spots. They soon realized my incompetence, however, and in the important situations got more qualified translators. Other than that, I tried to keep track of the students so we didn't leave any behind and generally acted as a liaison. For example, if someone asked my boss a question that wasn't important in English that was too fast, I would jump in and answer. "Did you guys get a chance to hop on over to the museum?" Instead of translating, which I found made the person who spoke immediately lose interest in the conversation, I would simply say "Yeah, we had a great time." The other important function I served was to teach the students stuff like "Don't eat the apples put out for breakfast by the hotel; they will be gross," or how to make waffles on the hotel waffle maker, or how to eat oatmeal, or how to check out of a hotel, or any of a hundred things that requires cultural fluency to navigate.

The highlight of the trip was probably the football game where Oklahoma University trounced Utah State 54-3. There were 84,000 people at the game; a number I can't even contemplate. It took place in the height of the afternoon for like three hours. The left side of my face, unaccustomed to such brutal treatment, began to hurt at halftime. The rest of the trip saw the top layer of skin from my face and nose peeling off; it's cool, I didn't need that layer anyway.

Oh! I almost forgot. I am an honorary mayor of Oklahoma City. Bet you didn't think I had a future in politics, did you?

I became an honorary mayor of Oklahoma City last week, what did you do?

The wide scope of the stuff we did was pretty mind-boggling. Breakfast with the Secretary of State of Oklahoma, a meeting with the Lieutenant Governor, tours of four universities (OSU, OU, NSU, and UCO), lunch with the Honorary Consul-General of Japan, a tour of the national weather center, cowboy hall of fame, Oklahoma City bombing memorial, and a tour of Sonic headquarters (the fast-food chain popular in gas-guzzling meat-loving middle America). It was funny because despite all the money the state was shoveling to pay for our visits to all these places, they couldn't hire a driver for our van. The passenger van was driven by the chief protocol officer for the secretary of state while the baggage van was piloted by the personal assistant to the Lieutenant Governor. (Both of whom were instrumental to our great experience).

Because Kyoto is the birthplace of the Kyoto Protocol (a phrase that I have to translate ad nauseum), at each of the three universities where we were received, there was a round table discussion regarding global-warming. I don't know who decided this was a good idea, but if I was running the show, we wouldn't do this again. Just because these students are from Kyoto doesn't mean they are experts on global warming; they didn't even seem to have a particular interest in it. Most of them were western-literature majors. The students at the round table discussions were interested in global-warming, but there was nary a earth science major to be found. Also, in discussing ways of combating global-warming, it was like the Americans and Japanese were speaking different languages. It's hard to explain, but because I know a little about Japanese culture and a lot about American culture I could see the misunderstandings that were taking place. There was a lack of cultural context on both sides. For example, one Japanese student tried to explain cool-biz, a policy I mentioned in a previous post wherein dress codes are relaxed during summer as a matter of policy. She explained it well enough, but didn't get across the point that it was a government mandated measure and not just a comfort thing. The American students, for their part, didn't get that it was a big deal in Japan. The discussions were full of these little misunderstandings.

Worst moment of the round table discussions for me. After the discussion was over at NSU, the floor was opened up for questions. Of course the global-warming unbeliever of the audience had to ask a "question" of the Kyoto students.

"To what extent does the Kyoto Protocol take into account the cyclical nature of climate change?"

Frantic looks and uncomprehending faces among the students, my boss looks to me for a translation. I stammer a response along the lines of "over long periods of time global climate goes up and down..." but before I could finish, my boss looked away, convinced of my disutility.

I could have killed whoever asked that question. It wasn't even a question. Nor was it meaningful. It was simply a polemic not in the spirit of the discussion. There is a general scientific consensus that recent global temperature changes are largely due to greenhouse gas emissions, but that wasn't the nature of our discussion. I spent the rest of the question and answer session translating that question into Japanese. Later, I put the question to the students; they thought it was a stupid question too.

Luckily for all involved, the discussions were few and far between.

After all of the formal tours we weren't prepared for the strangest visit we made. We drove like 45 minutes from the city into the wrong side of a small town in order to see a local science magnet high school. After going through the school's metal detectors, we went to the shop to see what the Aerospace Science class was working on (it turned out to be a far cry from the Physical Science classroom in EHS where I Elmer's glued sheets of tissue paper together to make hot-air balloons when I was 16.) The students (though I have the feeling that the teacher was doing all the heavy lifting) were making a solar powered car. After a brief talk, and a not so brief trouble-shooting session, the teacher took some of the Japanese students for a ride. It was surprisingly exhilarating that this backwater high school in rural Oklahoma had put together a car that could run for like 50 miles on solar power. At first we were a little impatient, but in the end, everyone was cheering this portly high school science teacher and his silent, ugly, but very driveable Honda Civic.

All in all, it was a whirlwind tour. It was unlike any trip I had ever been on. It was like an enormous, very sincere, PR voyage. Everywhere we went we gave gifts to the hosts (which I had to lug around everywhere. That was my other job: souvenir Sherpa.) and we received gifts in return. I thought I would come back with less stuff than I came with considering that my suitcase going there was about 30-40% gifts, but I returned even more heavily laden. Rosemary jam, mango salsa, brochures, music cd's, calendars, certificates, t-shirts, a dvd, pancake mix, a backpack, tote bags, etc. The only thing I have used so far has been the rosemary jam; it makes excellent PB&J sandwiches.

Well, I think I will round this blog out with some random photographs from the trip.

P.S. I have a cellphone now. Number and address available upon request.

The state capital government building. The inside and outside were both very lovely. I became very distressed, though, when I realized that while this building is the equivalent to where I work in Kyoto, the Kyoto building is more akin to a Costco warehouses than it is to this. Nor does the Kyoto government complex have an oil derrick on its grounds.

Here's my loot from the trip. I couldn't get it all in one picture. After I finally took the picture and repacked everything i realized I still had another bag full of stuff I forgot to lay out.

All My Dreams Come True

Ian! You have just been selected from a long list of alternates to become a CIR on the JET program. You will live and work in Japan's ancient capital of Kyoto. What are you going to do next?


I'm going to.... Oklahoma? Seriously?


That's right ladies and gentlemen, for a week and a half I will be removed from the heart of cultural Japan, and relocated to the heartland of the US of A. We are going to hit all the big names: Tulsa, Stillwater,and Norman.


Half of me wishes I was joking, but the other half realizes that it's much more funny as truth.


Let me explain: Kyoto prefecture has sister-city relations with many regions around the world. Part of the job of the International Affairs Division where I work is to coordinate activities with those regions. For example, the Edinburgh exhibition in October that I mentioned last post. The sister regions are: Shaanxi province in China, Yogyakarta in Indonesia, Leningrad Oblast in Russia, Edinburgh in Scotland, and, of course, Oklahoma, USA. Every year a delegation of college students visits the other's region, alternating between countries. This year, it is a group of Kyoto students that is visiting Oklahoma. Going with them were my supervisor and my section chief. The latter was going as coordinator of the whole exhibition while the former was to be the interpreter if things got rough (all of the students speak at least a little English, and some are pretty fluent, apparently). However, my supervisor has been sick recently, and they needed another English speaker. I don't know whether I was chosen because I am directly below my supervisor or if I am just the least necessary English speaker in the office. Either way, on Tuesday the 11th (flying on September 11th, security should be fun), nearly three weeks into my Japanese adventure, I am flying to Oklahoma through Detroit. I have never interpreted before, but it should mostly be ok because I will be dealing with students and day to day concerns. What does worry me, however, is that there will be a conference at OSU where the Japanese students will participate in a round table discussion with American students regarding global warming, greenhouse gas emissions, the Kyoto protocol, and cross-cultural understanding. (The Kyoto government is battling global warming like crazy. There is a wide scale campaign to prohibit drivers from idling for too long, and it is not uncommon to see signs on elevators that say the elevator has been disabled in order to stop global warming). It will be an open discussion, so anyone in the entire campus and surrounding community will be invited. If there are communication difficulties, I will be the one smoothing them out. I am apprehensive. I am, however, looking forward to seeing how the Japanese students interact with American students in a discussion on what is such a hot-button issue in America.


Besides the impending Oklahoma trip, everything else has been proceeding smoothly. The office had a welcome party for Sara, the other CIR, and me last week. I got to see a different side of the people in my office. For example, I couldn't for the life of me place this one character who was excitedly talking to me about anime and cosplay while pouring me beer. Then I realized that he is the guy who sits literally four feet away at the office, but rarely speaks. After drinks and dinner ten or so of us went to karaoke. Madness. After coming home, though, I didn't feel so good. I could tell it wasn't the alcohol I had imbibed because I hadn't had that much, and it wasn't just nausea, but chills and a general feeling of unwell-ness. I just did a translation that day for the International Center's website regarding food poisoning, and I tend to think it was that. I had bought a pretty shady lunch from a street vendor earlier in the day, and as I learned from doing my translation, food poisoning strikes about ten hours after eating (actually translation is my main source of information. Nobody really tells me what events etc. are going on in the prefecture, but I can get an idea from translating and native-checking letters and documents). Regardless, after a rough night, I awoke lethargic and nauseous. I had a meeting to go to at work so I couldn't call in sick (I also don't have a phone to call in sick with). I felt like passing out a couple times during the day, including the middle of the meeting, but with the help of a nap during my lunch hour I made it through the day. Everybody thought I was merely hungover, and didn't seem to believe me when I told them I wasn't. Ironically, however, my poor performance that day maybe more likely to be forgiven if alcohol is believed to be the culprit. (Japan is remarkably tolerant of drunken behavior. I heard that until relatively recently, Japan was extremely lax on prosecuting drunk driving, even to the point where alcohol could be used as grounds for leniency. Now, Japan has some of the toughest drunk driving laws in the world.)


In continuing my pattern of posting pictures completely unrelated to the rest of my post, here are some pictures of Nijo Castle; about a 30 minute walk from my apartment. On my first day in Kyoto I was walking around the neighorhood looking for an electronics store, when all of a sudden I was standing next to a four-hundred year-old castle. Today I finally paid admission and went inside.



Anyway, I should start studying vocabulary related to global warming and the Kyoto Protocol.

My Life as a Sarari-man (or more properly, an intern pretending to be a koumuin)*

This last week has been an intense one for work. It's been a crash course in how things are done around here, and I have still only had one full day at the office. During CIR training in Tokyo, our trainers told us that we shouldn't be surprised if we don't do anything for the first month or so. Because training in Japan for new workers often involves tacit understanding rather than explicit instructions, workers in new schools and offices are expected to spend the first couple of months just getting a feel for the flow of the office. We were told that they have seen new teachers at a school spend a month behind an empty desk without any clear understanding of what to do. (Coincidentally, just before my stay in the zen temple last year, my teacher gave the group an article about how one is expected to learn in a Zen temple, and how that differs from western styles. In a Zen temple, also, learning is done completely tacitly. Nobody teaches you how to cook; you have to watch the others when it was their turn, and hope for the best when it is yours.) My job, on the other hand, has been anything but.

Monday was the first time I sat at my desk. I was there for about 10 minutes before heading off to new JET training. Before leaving, though, I was given a letter to translate due first thing the next morning. More on that later. Once at the training, rather than being in the audience, as might be expected, I was placed with the organizers at the front. I delivered a short talk on my duties as a Prefectural Advisor, and what they could expect from me. Thankfully, due to the constant guidance from the senior CIR, and the senior PA, I was prepared to give such a talk. After hearing from everyone, and after having a Q&A session, we all left to go on a walking tour of Kyoto. (Everybody was advised to bring casual clothing because of the three hour walk and the blistering heat. I, however, because I had to go to the office that morning, was wearing slacks, belt, undershirt, dress shirt, and tie. An hour into the walk my sleeves were rolled up, my shirts untucked, and my tie nowhere to be seen. (My supervisor made a joke about me being very ku-ru bizu, or "cool biz," which was the former Prime Minister Koizumi's attempt to save electricity by dressing down business attire to lessen air conditioning. She told me it was fine because there were no bosses around. I didn't remind her that she was my boss.)

By design, the tour ended at 5 in front of a building which had a beer garden on its roof. So, it being after hours and all, we went from work-work to work-play. 3500 yen bought us all you can eat food and all you can drink beer until nine. I rationalize that I needed to stay in order to meet all the JETs that I advise. Lot's of work in Japan gets done after work is over. Also, I had to get my money's worth. Luckily, at the end of the night I had stayed sober enough to make my way home on the subway. Many of the others went on to karaoke, but since I had that translation to do, I thought it would be better to get to work early.

I got to work about 45 minutes early, but my translation was no longer on my desk. As I searched for it, one of my coworkers mentioned that they had already done it for me. So now I was there 45 minutes early with nothing to do. Thanks... I guess?

Luckily, I wasn't there long before I was off to another training session, this one for new JET AETs (Assistant English Teachers). Once again, the opening ceremonies had me sitting in the front with the representatives from the various Japanese ministries who have a hand in the JET program. Names were announced in order of importance. I was second to last. I wasn't last only because I was the only one from the International Division of the Prefectural Office present, and that made my position (not my personage) worthy of mention. After observing the training until four, I made my back to the office and tried to acquaint myself with the job until 530.

Wednesday was my only full day at the office. In the morning I met my predecessor, a very capable and personable guy from England. He showed me which way was up at the office and how to access my computer. After he left, I furiously tried to write the report I was expected to turn in that day regarding Monday's orientation. I used Tom's old ones as templates (read: wholesale plagiarism), and got it done in a few hours. I also had to translate into English a Japanese synopsis of an English radio transcript. (It was posted to the internet later that day, check it out here http://www.kpic.or.jp/english/fmcocolo/070822.htm).

The prefecture is also organizing an event to commemorate the tenth anniversary of the sister-city relationship between Kyoto and Edinburgh. Because Edinburgh is famous for J.K. Rowling and Harry Potter, the prefecture wants there to be a Harry Potter connection to the event. Accordingly, my first translation started along the lines of, "I am writing this letter in regards to Harry Potter." Hope they like it.

Thursday and Friday saw me in Tokyo for a PA conference. We did some basic counseling training and a lot of role-playing. It was worthwhile, but very tiring. After training it was dinner (and drinking) with the other Kyoto PA's. After that came some more drinking as I met my friends from Tokyo in Shibuya. Then sleep, and more training in the morning. The next day we took the bullet-train back to Kyoto where I met my predecessor again, this time for some drinks, and some talk about how the office REALLY runs. Or at least that's what I think we talked about because my memory gets a little hazy after the third or fourth pint.

This has already turned into a long post, but I have a story to tell unrelated to everything else. Bear with me.

When entering an office for the first time from another country, it is customary to bring gifts. I brought along a pound of Cutter's Point coffee because 1) it's pretty delicious 2) it's from Seattle and 3) it's not available in Japan (unlike Starbucks coffee). In order to save its flavor, I brought it in bean form with the plan to grind it when I got here. Tomorrow is the first chance I have to really give it to the office, so I went out today to get it ground somewhere. First, I couldn't find a place that actually grinds their coffee. Most coffee shops don't use fresh beans, I guess. I finally found a Starbucks, which for sure grinds their coffee, and would probably grind mine. It was so crowded I had to wait outside for 5-10 minutes for a seat to open. I ordered my coffee and pastry, and then tried to make it known to the barista that I wanted some coffee ground. I was told it was fine until I brought up the bag, and it was found out that it was not, in fact, official Starbucks coffee. They couldn't do it, they told me, because it would end up mixing with Starbucks coffee; presumably this is bad. I drank my coffee and tried to problem solve. I came up with what I thought was a brilliant idea. I would buy Starbucks beans, get them to grind it, throw out the Cutter's Point beans, and replace them with the ground Starbucks coffee. Seriously, who is gonna know the difference. It was the package that was the most important part of this gift, and this way the office gets good coffee, and I get to give them something from my hometown. Win-win. I was trying to find my way out of the problem that my bag was one-pound, but the Starbucks bags were only 8.8 ounces, forcing me to buy two if I wanted to carry out my plan, when Starbucks Service came to the rescue.

First, a barista came to ask if I needed help choosing coffee. I somehow explained my situation to her, and she went off to find her manager (or shift supervisor for all I know). They both came out, and the barista explained the situation to her boss. In classic Japanese fashion, everyone put on their best thinking faces and waited for the situation to resolve itself. It finally did when the boss suggested that there was another coffee place that sold beans in the same area. This was a win-win-win plan. (For "The Office" fans: http://youtube.com/watch?v=wMWuMIbL2FM). I went to the new place, which was called "Jupiter," and took the plan to them. The clerk wouldn't do it because they couldn't just grind coffee beans unless it was coffee beans that I bought from them. So I offered to buy two bags of coffee beans if she would grind my Cutter's Point coffee. After consulting with her superior, it was agreed (Although she ground the other two bags as well, so I don't really know what the problem was in the first place). Two points for Japanese customer service which holds onto its rank as best in the world, two points for me for being able to manage the whole process in Japanese, and two points for Starbucks customer service for pulling through in the clutch.

And now for unrelated pictures having to do with food. First, a before picture of one of the last meals I ate in America at the King County Fair: notice the whole turkey legs and fourteen-inch hot dogs.

Now, a picture of my dinner last night. It cost me 500yen (about $4.50).

What happens when you mix the two together? Chaos. In this case, Chaos has a name: McDonald's.

*note regarding the title. A sarari-man is a businessman while a koumuin is a civil servant. Both live a similar lifestyle. But becauses to be either you have to be Japanese, I am a intern. One that is salaried and works full-time.