Back in One Piece

First, let me start by saying that Oklahoma is a pretty sweet place. There, I said it. Whatever preconceptions I might have had before going there have been replaced by good memories. Sure it's a bit flat (Don't dare tell anyone there that you think Oklahoma is flat; they will flip. But seriously, did you see the picture above? I rest my case.), and sure there are twice as many cows as people (6 million to 3 million), and trying to find a vegetable at dinner is a lost cause, but Oklahoma seems to be a pretty up-and-coming state. It's almost as though Oklahoma still hasn't grown into itself yet. Oklahoma City recently spent a ton of money making a river out of the ditch that runs through downtown, there is a great looking baseball stadium right downtown that is used by the minor-league team, and in all directions there is space to grow. One day, when we were receiving a tour of an Oklahoma City skyscraper, the guide told us that for as far as we could see in all directions was Oklahoma City limits. Even though there aren't any buildings or people out there, it is still technically Oklahoma City and they are planning on filling out that space. (I think we were supposed to be impressed by the notion of city in all directions, but I had just been to Tokyo where I looked out the 65th floor of the Tokyo Tower, and there, too, it was city in all directions, but it was actually full of buildings and what-not).

I am getting ahead of myself, I think. If you recall, the reason we went to Oklahoma is the sister region agreement between the prefecture of Kyoto and the state of Oklahoma. Because of this, every year Oklahoma was sending university students to see Kyoto, who by all accounts had a first-class experience. (By the way, you can just tell Oklahoma is STOKED to have Kyoto as a sister region; I just spent ten minutes trying to come up with a good analogy before giving up. Suffice it to say that Kyoto became the capital of Japan in around 800 AD, more than 1100 years before Oklahoma became a state.) This year was Oklahoma's turn to show its hospitality, and they came through with flying colors. There were eight Kyoto university students, the assistant director of the International Affairs Division, and little old me. In ten days we changed place of residence every day except one, for a total of six different hotels. For about 10-12 hours every day it was my job to "interpret," but because everyone seemed to be able to get along pretty well in English, I just jumped in the trouble spots. They soon realized my incompetence, however, and in the important situations got more qualified translators. Other than that, I tried to keep track of the students so we didn't leave any behind and generally acted as a liaison. For example, if someone asked my boss a question that wasn't important in English that was too fast, I would jump in and answer. "Did you guys get a chance to hop on over to the museum?" Instead of translating, which I found made the person who spoke immediately lose interest in the conversation, I would simply say "Yeah, we had a great time." The other important function I served was to teach the students stuff like "Don't eat the apples put out for breakfast by the hotel; they will be gross," or how to make waffles on the hotel waffle maker, or how to eat oatmeal, or how to check out of a hotel, or any of a hundred things that requires cultural fluency to navigate.

The highlight of the trip was probably the football game where Oklahoma University trounced Utah State 54-3. There were 84,000 people at the game; a number I can't even contemplate. It took place in the height of the afternoon for like three hours. The left side of my face, unaccustomed to such brutal treatment, began to hurt at halftime. The rest of the trip saw the top layer of skin from my face and nose peeling off; it's cool, I didn't need that layer anyway.

Oh! I almost forgot. I am an honorary mayor of Oklahoma City. Bet you didn't think I had a future in politics, did you?

I became an honorary mayor of Oklahoma City last week, what did you do?

The wide scope of the stuff we did was pretty mind-boggling. Breakfast with the Secretary of State of Oklahoma, a meeting with the Lieutenant Governor, tours of four universities (OSU, OU, NSU, and UCO), lunch with the Honorary Consul-General of Japan, a tour of the national weather center, cowboy hall of fame, Oklahoma City bombing memorial, and a tour of Sonic headquarters (the fast-food chain popular in gas-guzzling meat-loving middle America). It was funny because despite all the money the state was shoveling to pay for our visits to all these places, they couldn't hire a driver for our van. The passenger van was driven by the chief protocol officer for the secretary of state while the baggage van was piloted by the personal assistant to the Lieutenant Governor. (Both of whom were instrumental to our great experience).

Because Kyoto is the birthplace of the Kyoto Protocol (a phrase that I have to translate ad nauseum), at each of the three universities where we were received, there was a round table discussion regarding global-warming. I don't know who decided this was a good idea, but if I was running the show, we wouldn't do this again. Just because these students are from Kyoto doesn't mean they are experts on global warming; they didn't even seem to have a particular interest in it. Most of them were western-literature majors. The students at the round table discussions were interested in global-warming, but there was nary a earth science major to be found. Also, in discussing ways of combating global-warming, it was like the Americans and Japanese were speaking different languages. It's hard to explain, but because I know a little about Japanese culture and a lot about American culture I could see the misunderstandings that were taking place. There was a lack of cultural context on both sides. For example, one Japanese student tried to explain cool-biz, a policy I mentioned in a previous post wherein dress codes are relaxed during summer as a matter of policy. She explained it well enough, but didn't get across the point that it was a government mandated measure and not just a comfort thing. The American students, for their part, didn't get that it was a big deal in Japan. The discussions were full of these little misunderstandings.

Worst moment of the round table discussions for me. After the discussion was over at NSU, the floor was opened up for questions. Of course the global-warming unbeliever of the audience had to ask a "question" of the Kyoto students.

"To what extent does the Kyoto Protocol take into account the cyclical nature of climate change?"

Frantic looks and uncomprehending faces among the students, my boss looks to me for a translation. I stammer a response along the lines of "over long periods of time global climate goes up and down..." but before I could finish, my boss looked away, convinced of my disutility.

I could have killed whoever asked that question. It wasn't even a question. Nor was it meaningful. It was simply a polemic not in the spirit of the discussion. There is a general scientific consensus that recent global temperature changes are largely due to greenhouse gas emissions, but that wasn't the nature of our discussion. I spent the rest of the question and answer session translating that question into Japanese. Later, I put the question to the students; they thought it was a stupid question too.

Luckily for all involved, the discussions were few and far between.

After all of the formal tours we weren't prepared for the strangest visit we made. We drove like 45 minutes from the city into the wrong side of a small town in order to see a local science magnet high school. After going through the school's metal detectors, we went to the shop to see what the Aerospace Science class was working on (it turned out to be a far cry from the Physical Science classroom in EHS where I Elmer's glued sheets of tissue paper together to make hot-air balloons when I was 16.) The students (though I have the feeling that the teacher was doing all the heavy lifting) were making a solar powered car. After a brief talk, and a not so brief trouble-shooting session, the teacher took some of the Japanese students for a ride. It was surprisingly exhilarating that this backwater high school in rural Oklahoma had put together a car that could run for like 50 miles on solar power. At first we were a little impatient, but in the end, everyone was cheering this portly high school science teacher and his silent, ugly, but very driveable Honda Civic.

All in all, it was a whirlwind tour. It was unlike any trip I had ever been on. It was like an enormous, very sincere, PR voyage. Everywhere we went we gave gifts to the hosts (which I had to lug around everywhere. That was my other job: souvenir Sherpa.) and we received gifts in return. I thought I would come back with less stuff than I came with considering that my suitcase going there was about 30-40% gifts, but I returned even more heavily laden. Rosemary jam, mango salsa, brochures, music cd's, calendars, certificates, t-shirts, a dvd, pancake mix, a backpack, tote bags, etc. The only thing I have used so far has been the rosemary jam; it makes excellent PB&J sandwiches.

Well, I think I will round this blog out with some random photographs from the trip.

P.S. I have a cellphone now. Number and address available upon request.

The state capital government building. The inside and outside were both very lovely. I became very distressed, though, when I realized that while this building is the equivalent to where I work in Kyoto, the Kyoto building is more akin to a Costco warehouses than it is to this. Nor does the Kyoto government complex have an oil derrick on its grounds.

Here's my loot from the trip. I couldn't get it all in one picture. After I finally took the picture and repacked everything i realized I still had another bag full of stuff I forgot to lay out.

All My Dreams Come True

Ian! You have just been selected from a long list of alternates to become a CIR on the JET program. You will live and work in Japan's ancient capital of Kyoto. What are you going to do next?


I'm going to.... Oklahoma? Seriously?


That's right ladies and gentlemen, for a week and a half I will be removed from the heart of cultural Japan, and relocated to the heartland of the US of A. We are going to hit all the big names: Tulsa, Stillwater,and Norman.


Half of me wishes I was joking, but the other half realizes that it's much more funny as truth.


Let me explain: Kyoto prefecture has sister-city relations with many regions around the world. Part of the job of the International Affairs Division where I work is to coordinate activities with those regions. For example, the Edinburgh exhibition in October that I mentioned last post. The sister regions are: Shaanxi province in China, Yogyakarta in Indonesia, Leningrad Oblast in Russia, Edinburgh in Scotland, and, of course, Oklahoma, USA. Every year a delegation of college students visits the other's region, alternating between countries. This year, it is a group of Kyoto students that is visiting Oklahoma. Going with them were my supervisor and my section chief. The latter was going as coordinator of the whole exhibition while the former was to be the interpreter if things got rough (all of the students speak at least a little English, and some are pretty fluent, apparently). However, my supervisor has been sick recently, and they needed another English speaker. I don't know whether I was chosen because I am directly below my supervisor or if I am just the least necessary English speaker in the office. Either way, on Tuesday the 11th (flying on September 11th, security should be fun), nearly three weeks into my Japanese adventure, I am flying to Oklahoma through Detroit. I have never interpreted before, but it should mostly be ok because I will be dealing with students and day to day concerns. What does worry me, however, is that there will be a conference at OSU where the Japanese students will participate in a round table discussion with American students regarding global warming, greenhouse gas emissions, the Kyoto protocol, and cross-cultural understanding. (The Kyoto government is battling global warming like crazy. There is a wide scale campaign to prohibit drivers from idling for too long, and it is not uncommon to see signs on elevators that say the elevator has been disabled in order to stop global warming). It will be an open discussion, so anyone in the entire campus and surrounding community will be invited. If there are communication difficulties, I will be the one smoothing them out. I am apprehensive. I am, however, looking forward to seeing how the Japanese students interact with American students in a discussion on what is such a hot-button issue in America.


Besides the impending Oklahoma trip, everything else has been proceeding smoothly. The office had a welcome party for Sara, the other CIR, and me last week. I got to see a different side of the people in my office. For example, I couldn't for the life of me place this one character who was excitedly talking to me about anime and cosplay while pouring me beer. Then I realized that he is the guy who sits literally four feet away at the office, but rarely speaks. After drinks and dinner ten or so of us went to karaoke. Madness. After coming home, though, I didn't feel so good. I could tell it wasn't the alcohol I had imbibed because I hadn't had that much, and it wasn't just nausea, but chills and a general feeling of unwell-ness. I just did a translation that day for the International Center's website regarding food poisoning, and I tend to think it was that. I had bought a pretty shady lunch from a street vendor earlier in the day, and as I learned from doing my translation, food poisoning strikes about ten hours after eating (actually translation is my main source of information. Nobody really tells me what events etc. are going on in the prefecture, but I can get an idea from translating and native-checking letters and documents). Regardless, after a rough night, I awoke lethargic and nauseous. I had a meeting to go to at work so I couldn't call in sick (I also don't have a phone to call in sick with). I felt like passing out a couple times during the day, including the middle of the meeting, but with the help of a nap during my lunch hour I made it through the day. Everybody thought I was merely hungover, and didn't seem to believe me when I told them I wasn't. Ironically, however, my poor performance that day maybe more likely to be forgiven if alcohol is believed to be the culprit. (Japan is remarkably tolerant of drunken behavior. I heard that until relatively recently, Japan was extremely lax on prosecuting drunk driving, even to the point where alcohol could be used as grounds for leniency. Now, Japan has some of the toughest drunk driving laws in the world.)


In continuing my pattern of posting pictures completely unrelated to the rest of my post, here are some pictures of Nijo Castle; about a 30 minute walk from my apartment. On my first day in Kyoto I was walking around the neighorhood looking for an electronics store, when all of a sudden I was standing next to a four-hundred year-old castle. Today I finally paid admission and went inside.



Anyway, I should start studying vocabulary related to global warming and the Kyoto Protocol.

My Life as a Sarari-man (or more properly, an intern pretending to be a koumuin)*

This last week has been an intense one for work. It's been a crash course in how things are done around here, and I have still only had one full day at the office. During CIR training in Tokyo, our trainers told us that we shouldn't be surprised if we don't do anything for the first month or so. Because training in Japan for new workers often involves tacit understanding rather than explicit instructions, workers in new schools and offices are expected to spend the first couple of months just getting a feel for the flow of the office. We were told that they have seen new teachers at a school spend a month behind an empty desk without any clear understanding of what to do. (Coincidentally, just before my stay in the zen temple last year, my teacher gave the group an article about how one is expected to learn in a Zen temple, and how that differs from western styles. In a Zen temple, also, learning is done completely tacitly. Nobody teaches you how to cook; you have to watch the others when it was their turn, and hope for the best when it is yours.) My job, on the other hand, has been anything but.

Monday was the first time I sat at my desk. I was there for about 10 minutes before heading off to new JET training. Before leaving, though, I was given a letter to translate due first thing the next morning. More on that later. Once at the training, rather than being in the audience, as might be expected, I was placed with the organizers at the front. I delivered a short talk on my duties as a Prefectural Advisor, and what they could expect from me. Thankfully, due to the constant guidance from the senior CIR, and the senior PA, I was prepared to give such a talk. After hearing from everyone, and after having a Q&A session, we all left to go on a walking tour of Kyoto. (Everybody was advised to bring casual clothing because of the three hour walk and the blistering heat. I, however, because I had to go to the office that morning, was wearing slacks, belt, undershirt, dress shirt, and tie. An hour into the walk my sleeves were rolled up, my shirts untucked, and my tie nowhere to be seen. (My supervisor made a joke about me being very ku-ru bizu, or "cool biz," which was the former Prime Minister Koizumi's attempt to save electricity by dressing down business attire to lessen air conditioning. She told me it was fine because there were no bosses around. I didn't remind her that she was my boss.)

By design, the tour ended at 5 in front of a building which had a beer garden on its roof. So, it being after hours and all, we went from work-work to work-play. 3500 yen bought us all you can eat food and all you can drink beer until nine. I rationalize that I needed to stay in order to meet all the JETs that I advise. Lot's of work in Japan gets done after work is over. Also, I had to get my money's worth. Luckily, at the end of the night I had stayed sober enough to make my way home on the subway. Many of the others went on to karaoke, but since I had that translation to do, I thought it would be better to get to work early.

I got to work about 45 minutes early, but my translation was no longer on my desk. As I searched for it, one of my coworkers mentioned that they had already done it for me. So now I was there 45 minutes early with nothing to do. Thanks... I guess?

Luckily, I wasn't there long before I was off to another training session, this one for new JET AETs (Assistant English Teachers). Once again, the opening ceremonies had me sitting in the front with the representatives from the various Japanese ministries who have a hand in the JET program. Names were announced in order of importance. I was second to last. I wasn't last only because I was the only one from the International Division of the Prefectural Office present, and that made my position (not my personage) worthy of mention. After observing the training until four, I made my back to the office and tried to acquaint myself with the job until 530.

Wednesday was my only full day at the office. In the morning I met my predecessor, a very capable and personable guy from England. He showed me which way was up at the office and how to access my computer. After he left, I furiously tried to write the report I was expected to turn in that day regarding Monday's orientation. I used Tom's old ones as templates (read: wholesale plagiarism), and got it done in a few hours. I also had to translate into English a Japanese synopsis of an English radio transcript. (It was posted to the internet later that day, check it out here http://www.kpic.or.jp/english/fmcocolo/070822.htm).

The prefecture is also organizing an event to commemorate the tenth anniversary of the sister-city relationship between Kyoto and Edinburgh. Because Edinburgh is famous for J.K. Rowling and Harry Potter, the prefecture wants there to be a Harry Potter connection to the event. Accordingly, my first translation started along the lines of, "I am writing this letter in regards to Harry Potter." Hope they like it.

Thursday and Friday saw me in Tokyo for a PA conference. We did some basic counseling training and a lot of role-playing. It was worthwhile, but very tiring. After training it was dinner (and drinking) with the other Kyoto PA's. After that came some more drinking as I met my friends from Tokyo in Shibuya. Then sleep, and more training in the morning. The next day we took the bullet-train back to Kyoto where I met my predecessor again, this time for some drinks, and some talk about how the office REALLY runs. Or at least that's what I think we talked about because my memory gets a little hazy after the third or fourth pint.

This has already turned into a long post, but I have a story to tell unrelated to everything else. Bear with me.

When entering an office for the first time from another country, it is customary to bring gifts. I brought along a pound of Cutter's Point coffee because 1) it's pretty delicious 2) it's from Seattle and 3) it's not available in Japan (unlike Starbucks coffee). In order to save its flavor, I brought it in bean form with the plan to grind it when I got here. Tomorrow is the first chance I have to really give it to the office, so I went out today to get it ground somewhere. First, I couldn't find a place that actually grinds their coffee. Most coffee shops don't use fresh beans, I guess. I finally found a Starbucks, which for sure grinds their coffee, and would probably grind mine. It was so crowded I had to wait outside for 5-10 minutes for a seat to open. I ordered my coffee and pastry, and then tried to make it known to the barista that I wanted some coffee ground. I was told it was fine until I brought up the bag, and it was found out that it was not, in fact, official Starbucks coffee. They couldn't do it, they told me, because it would end up mixing with Starbucks coffee; presumably this is bad. I drank my coffee and tried to problem solve. I came up with what I thought was a brilliant idea. I would buy Starbucks beans, get them to grind it, throw out the Cutter's Point beans, and replace them with the ground Starbucks coffee. Seriously, who is gonna know the difference. It was the package that was the most important part of this gift, and this way the office gets good coffee, and I get to give them something from my hometown. Win-win. I was trying to find my way out of the problem that my bag was one-pound, but the Starbucks bags were only 8.8 ounces, forcing me to buy two if I wanted to carry out my plan, when Starbucks Service came to the rescue.

First, a barista came to ask if I needed help choosing coffee. I somehow explained my situation to her, and she went off to find her manager (or shift supervisor for all I know). They both came out, and the barista explained the situation to her boss. In classic Japanese fashion, everyone put on their best thinking faces and waited for the situation to resolve itself. It finally did when the boss suggested that there was another coffee place that sold beans in the same area. This was a win-win-win plan. (For "The Office" fans: http://youtube.com/watch?v=wMWuMIbL2FM). I went to the new place, which was called "Jupiter," and took the plan to them. The clerk wouldn't do it because they couldn't just grind coffee beans unless it was coffee beans that I bought from them. So I offered to buy two bags of coffee beans if she would grind my Cutter's Point coffee. After consulting with her superior, it was agreed (Although she ground the other two bags as well, so I don't really know what the problem was in the first place). Two points for Japanese customer service which holds onto its rank as best in the world, two points for me for being able to manage the whole process in Japanese, and two points for Starbucks customer service for pulling through in the clutch.

And now for unrelated pictures having to do with food. First, a before picture of one of the last meals I ate in America at the King County Fair: notice the whole turkey legs and fourteen-inch hot dogs.

Now, a picture of my dinner last night. It cost me 500yen (about $4.50).

What happens when you mix the two together? Chaos. In this case, Chaos has a name: McDonald's.

*note regarding the title. A sarari-man is a businessman while a koumuin is a civil servant. Both live a similar lifestyle. But becauses to be either you have to be Japanese, I am a intern. One that is salaried and works full-time.